MOSTLY JUST WAITING

These days are mostly spent waiting... I'm still teaching my Tuesday and Thursday preschool class but these other days, where I'm home making sure the house is tidy at all times, laundry is caught up on and the hospital bag is still in the same place it's been for the past 2 weeks, are bittersweet and surreal.  Contractions have officially begun to be a part of my days on and off, never really leading to anything.  I'm hoping this is just my body getting ready - that we're near the end and that so very soon, she'll be in my arms.  Life is so quiet and calm right now - it's thrilling and odd to be in a constant state of waiting and wondering if this could be it.  I'm cherishing these days where her little face is still a mystery to me and where daydreaming of her scent and snuggles is not yet my reality.  Soon, I know.

MONTESSORI AT HOME

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As I sit around, for the most part, waiting for baby to make her arrival, I'm beginning to day dream about turning a little area of our home into a montessori environment.  We have the perfect space on our third floor for such endeavor and I can't wait to introduce our daughter to Montessori at home.  As a montessori teacher I have a good understanding of how the philosophy should be implemented and incorporated but my experience only really lies in the classroom. I also really only have experience with the preschool and kindergarten aged child so incorporating some of the baby and toddler materials and methods will be a new, fun challenge for me. I just started a pinterest board with a bunch of materials and set up's for inspiration.  If you're curious, have a look! I'm anxious to share progress here on the blog about our montessori at home environment and excited to see where our education at home journey takes us. 

SOME THINGS, LATELY

The past week or so has really been a nice change of pace for me.  I've cut back work hours in preparation for the baby and Nick and I have been taking advantage of the last couple weeks of being baby free and spontaneous.  Dinners out (We've been to 3 new restaurants in the past 6 days!), errands on the weekend, trips to the coffee shop and of course lazy time around the house.  We're really trying to take advantage of the little time we have left without the massive responsibility of ya know, raising a human.  

/ latte after a doctors appointment friday

/ big ol belly after a massive nesting session at the house

/ lunch during an ikea outing

/ still working on my knitting project

/ coffee and treats at a new little cafe close to our house

/ nick getting into some ramen from a new spot in the city

FULL TERM!

Well friends, today marks 37 weeks pregnant. Officially full term.  Thinking back on those first few weeks of pregnancy when for the most part, our little girl was still a secret, February seemed an eternity away. Literally.  I couldn't imagine at the time how we would ever get to this point and now, we're here. We've made it.  We had a doctors appointment this morning (no action yet) and I met with the Pediatrician this afternoon.  The pediatrician for our daughter, where  Nick and I will make decisions like vaccines as the parents.  Being pregnant is one thing but having the title of parent is something entirely different.  I think sitting in that doctors office today listening to him rattle off types of vaccines, how often we'll visit in the first two years, etc made me truly realize that we are responsible for making decisions for this little life that are terrifying- things that will hopefully benefit her in the long run and keep her healthy and safe. As scary as the task may seem at times, I'm ready to bring her into this world and do the best we can.  Oh, the adventures we're about to embark on...I'm ready.

A FINISHED ROOM FOR BABY

I know I just posted a few photos last week of baby girl's room but after this weekend, I think we're finally ready to say it's finished! Artwork is hung, rocker has finally been purchased and some of her little goodies have been placed on her bookshelf and mantle for display.  We're really super happy with the way it turned out and think we did a pretty good job sticking with neutral tones like we had originally hoped.  We're ready for you, baby girl! 

WE'RE REALLY HAVING A BABY

image.

This morning Nick and I headed into the doctor for our weekly prenatal visit and left with the biggest smiles on our faces.  Today marks 36 weeks which apparently is a huge difference from just a week ago, medically speaking.  Talk with our doctor turned from preterm labor questions to when you go into labor directives. It really could happen at any moment.  Because I have a two vessel umbilical cord (don't google it, just know that everything is fine) my doctors will not let me deliver past my due date so we're looking at an induction in about 3 weeks if I don't start labor on my own before then.  3 weeks! Why does that sound so much sooner than 4 weeks? 

We're so ready for her but these last precious weeks also feel incredibly bittersweet -  The only time in our lives that it will ever just be my husband and I again. I want to cherish this time and make these last couple weekends all about holding his hand and heart.  I want him to know how much I love him and that even though life is going to be turned upside down so very soon, I would not have chosen to navigate this journey with any one other than him.  

THOUGHTS

The past few days have been filled with so many emotions.  Yesterday we said goodbye to Nicks grandma who really was such a special woman.  I've mostly just tried to be a good support, in whatever way Nick needed me.  I felt somewhat guilty at times because in the midst of loosing a woman he loved so dearly, we celebrated my own grandmothers 85th birthday- a woman I can't imagine life without.  I felt such an odd mix of emotions-Sadness and happiness for Nick and his family- happy that she's finally in the place she's been yearning for for so long- reunited with her husband. Happiness that I still have my grandma and that we were able to celebrate yet another birthday with her.  Sadness again, at the realization the my grandmother too is getting older.  And in the midst of the sad / happy teeter totter, I found myself caught in moments relishing in the fact that I am growing new life.  That when one life ends, a new one begins.  Life is so precious and it always disappoints me that it so often takes loss to realize the absolute joy and gift of living.    

booties handmade from my friend Joya for baby girl. too perfect not to share...

CURRENTLY

/ writing thank you notes and avoiding the student evaluation forms that need to get done before I go on maternity leave :)

/ roasting a turkey in the oven for a nice little dinner party we're hosting tonight with some close friends.

/ enjoying the unexpected warmth and sunshine outside.

/ thinking and praying for Nick's family as we remember his grandmother who passed just yesterday morning.

/ thinking and praying for our baby girl.  There have been no problems but having spotted that we've got a two vessel umbilical cord about a month ago as opposed to the normal three vessel cord has me praying that she continues to grow on track, strong and healthy.

Tomorrow we have our childbirth class all day followed by a big family get together and dinner. I'm really looking forward to both.  Sunday evening we'll celebrate my grandma's 85th birthday, so as we think about the wonderful life Nicks grandma had, we're honoring another amazing woman by celebrating the years she still has with all of us who love her so much.  It's bittersweet for sure. Hope everyone else has a nice weekend with loved ones.  They really are the ones that matter most.

A GLIMPSE OF THE NURSERY

I'm really loving the way the baby's room is turning out.  We still have a few things we need to do including framing and hanging some art work, getting a changing pad cover, a few storage bins and a rocker (who knew finding a rocker we like would be the most challenging part of putting this room together!)  but for the most part, this room is ready for a baby! 

/ Crib

/ Bird Mobile

/ Chevron Blanket - Target

/ Matisyahu art print

/ Rug

/ Book Shelf, Wooden soft toy storage, Radio, Abacus - Vintage

SPRING COLORS FROM MINI BODEN

So lovely, Mini Boden. The bright colors, layering and fun prints have me super excited about dressing baby girl come spring. 

MY HUSBAND IS RAD

Words can't even begin to describe how awesome I think this guy is.  Have you ever had a relationship with someone where every waking minute could be spent with them and you still wouldn't be sick of one another? That's really how I feel about my husband.  Marrying your best friend is pretty much the greatest thing in the world.  I've said it a hundred times already on the blog but thinking about him being a daddy to our little girl- sheesh, it knocks my socks off.  I mean, seriously- who else can jump over bridges? This man of mine can. 

photo taken by our good friend @brettzwo - he's also pretty rad.

FEELING ANXIOUS

Today marks exactly 6 weeks (at the most) until we meet our baby girl.  I can't wait to see her face and have her in my arms.  To see her face and have her in my arms, I have to bring her into this world and my friends, I'm terrified.  I honestly did not think this fear and anxiety would be part of my pregnancy journey.  I obviously knew prior to pregnancy what happens when delivering a baby and had no qualms about it in the least.  Now that it's just around the corner for me, my anxiety about the entire process is taking over. Where has this fear come from? I'm not quiet sure.  Every mother and their mother has given birth. I know it will be fine but picturing my own self in that moment leaves my heart racing.  The pain, the fact that something could go wrong, and did I mention the pain? I know I can do it, I have no choice, but I really want to do it with strength and confidence.  I want to be able to go through this amazing process with courage and not think back on it in the weeks, months and years to come with regret.  If you're wondering what my "birth plan" is, to be honest, I don't really have one.  More than anything I want to go with the flow and be open to what's happening and make decisions naturally.  We are delivering at a near by hospital and I do plan to get an epidural.  I'm finally okay with saying that I'm not planning to have a natural birth.  I struggled in the beginning for a long while with wanting to deliver naturally but feeling like I would not be able to handle the pain and decided in the end, I want to do this as comfortably as I can. I know myself and my body and after talking to my husband, doctors, and friends about it I really feel like this is a good decision for me.  I know what may be right for one woman may not be right for another and I don't think one way is right over another.  Like most things, making these types of decisions are hard and it's such a challenge not to be influenced by others but for me, in the end I'm okay with what I've decided. Anyone else have similar feelings about delivery? I'd love a bit of inspiration!

photo taken in my classroom, first day back after the holiday break. 

33 WEEKS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Happy New Year, friends!  Here we are, me and my girl at 33 weeks with so much excitement, eagerness, fear, and an array of other emotions in my heart as we approach this new year.  More than anything I'm over the moon excited about what's to come in 2013 and more specifically the next 7 weeks.  It's hard to think beyond these next 7 weeks at the moment.  I do not know what life will be like in 2013.  I know challenging, different, and tiring. I also know it will be filled with more love than I'll have even known possible and an endless lists of firsts. My goals for this coming year are the simplest and at the same time most complex they've ever been....

I want to be able to get through my labor and delivery with courage and strength.  I want to look back on it with fondness and an overwhelmingly happy heart.  I want to become a wonderful mother to this baby that will need me like no one ever has.  I want to remain a constant supporter and best friend to my husband.  I want to grow in my relationships with friends and family.  I want my priorities to always remain with my family.  I want to spend more time in real life than online.  I want to take our daughter on an adventure. I want my husband and I to grow together as parents and as partners.  Last year my goals leaned more towards career and business but this year I'm dedicated to focusing on relationships and real time with the people in my life and I couldn't be more excited about that.