ON MY HEART

November 12, 2012

Let me first start off by saying how thrilled Nick and I are to be having a baby girl.  If you've been around here at all in the last 6 months you know I don't even need to say that. We love her so much it's silly and she's not even here yet.  With that said, there have been some things on my heart lately that I wanted to share - to get out in written form so that not only am I able to read the way my heart has been feeling but so I can look back on this time in our lives and remember how much God has been working for us in helping to create our family.  

About 8 months ago, while in the midst of trying for a baby, a series of events occurred that opened our eyes and hearts to the journey of adoption.  I was not infertile, there were no problems- we'd only been trying for several months but for reasons we don't understand just yet, God showed us a path we were at the time overwhelmed by and uncertain of.  Through countless conversations with one another and prayers upon prayers, it became clear that a child was waiting for us and so we pursued him with conviction.  About 3 months or so into the process of adoption we received a devastating email that adoptions in Ghana, where we felt called to adopt, had been halted.  We had exactly three days to process this information before finding out that I was expecting. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions.  Again though, it was clear God was working in our lives. Like, crazy clear. 

Now, here we are, 6 months later.  We put the adoption on hold, have been preparing excitedly for our little girl to arrive in just a few short months and yet these past few days I feel like I'm being reminded to keep my heart open to a child born to another mother- miles away from us.  We are not in any rush, as we want to cherish the time we'll have with our baby girl but on that same note, adoptions can take a very long time so I'm left wondering what God is calling us to do? Maybe nothing. Maybe just keep it tucked safely in our hearts for down the road. Maybe He does want us to act. I don't know. What I do know is that the way my family is growing is incredible.  I have never been as sure as I am in this moment that I am meant to be a mother.  A mother to babies we've created and a mother to babies who will come to us in other ways. Family is family no matter how it may come to be.  

10 COMMENTS:

  1. Ever since I was young I always had this feeling that I was going to adopt a child from miles away. Then a few years ago, when I fell ill with Cogans Syndrome, doctors told me the chances of having a baby were going to be slim. I of course felt an overwhelming sense of sadness, but then I kept coming back to that feeling that I have had my whole life, and that maybe there is a child waiting for me somewhere, and that everything was happening for a reason. It’s amazing the signs God gives you when you let yourself be open to them. Good luck to your expanding family Lindsay!

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  2. I have found in so many people, if God puts adoption in your heart, God is going to make it clear you should adopt. I'm in the same spot. We have our son but I don't know what path to go down next, and it can be a three year wait. If that's the case I want to start now.

    Whatever you decide will be right for you, but I really believe God called you to this because He knew you could do it.

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  4. Bess,
    I had no idea. With that said, I think God really does put things in our hearts for a reason. It's hard to see the goodness in a situation that generally feels bad, but I think you're so right- things DO happen for a reason. If you want to be a mother someday, you will be. God knows what he's doing as I'm learning :)

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  5. Annie,
    I totally agree - The idea was put into our hearts for a reason I believe for sure. I think the same for you- You are passionate about family and giving a happy home to your babies is obviously the most important thing for you (as it should be) I've so loved watching your journey unfold and know God has more in store for you and your family.

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  6. Just found your blog and I'm so excited to sit back with a cup of tea, iPad resting in my 8 months prego belly and read back through your archives.

    Congrats on your baby girl.

    x
    TL

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