Owning the business with my husband is also extremely challenging. Not because he's hard to work with (not at all actually!) but because I'm the woman and coincidentally I look very young. Who do you think most people want to talk to during business meetings or onsite during an event? Not the little girl who's just "helping." I admit, I struggle a great deal with this. Behind the scenes, via email and phone calls, I'm just as capable as anyone, but once people put a face to "Lindsay, The City Flea" signature in emails I'm overlooked as not being as capable as my husband. It's not his fault, It's not my fault, It's not anyone's fault. It's just the truth of the situation. Since I was a teen I've struggled with how young I look. I know, I know everyone tells me I'll love it when I'm 30 or 40 but guess what? I'm 30 in 2 years and odds are I'll still look young. And odds are I'll still be treated as I'm perceived. The fact that I have to remind myself how capable, smart, and creative I am constantly is frustrating. I am those things, but it's hard to feel it when so often I'm overlooked. I'm sure all of you can relate to this in one way or another. Maybe you just don't feel respected, or like people wouldn't turn to you to handle a conflict, that you make enough money, or that you're not creative enough to come up with a new idea. I think we need to stop feeling like this about ourselves and show the world that we are all of these things plus some. Easier said than done though, right?
After this past weekends event I got to thinking, how can I change this? How can I feel empowered and just as capable as Nick? I think for a while, because this was the way I was viewed by a lot of people we work with I just sat back and let it happen. I thought, Nick will handle that because he has in the past and lets face it, people want to deal with Nick anyways. I've decided to turn a new leaf- to take on more as far as the business goes and not feel like I have to ask Nick if I can do so- I can! It's mine just as much as it is his (and no I don't have to ask him to do things for our business) We come up with creative solutions together, we go to meetings together, we brainstorm together and every final decision is made together so why in the world would I think I can't do more on my own!? I need to stop thinking that he is more capable to handle certain elements of our work. I need to prepare myself as best I can before each event so I know every single detail. I need to be confident when answering questions. I need to make decisions without second guessing them. It's strange- being in this mind frame. I've always considered myself to be a confident person. It truly has been eye opening running a business and realizing how many personal things I have to work on. I want to be continuously growing and I think my first step in doing so is finding ways to make my role in our business feel to me as worthy as Nicks feels to everyone.