It's a funny thing- wants vs contentment. I've got everything anyone could ever need and I continue to be thankful and blessed in my life. Sometimes my wants are tangible things, sometimes they're more personal, either way the problem is that I want. I go through waves of feeling completely fulfilled and then something inside me rebels and I want more. Recently I talked about my struggle to find contentment HERE and for whatever reason, I find myself back in that same mentality.
To be able to take a spur of the moment trip to Europe, to trade in our 10 year old car for a new luxury one, to own a pair of Christian Louboutin heels, to have a beautiful walk in closet that changes with each season- it all sounds so silly but constantly seeing these types of extravagant things in our media and around me for the past 5 years has a way of getting inside my mind.
I know how shallow this all sounds. I take full responsibility for the way that this is all sounding but don't you ever wish it too? Like I said, I'm so thankful for what my life is- truly. But being held back from doing certain things only because of money is a frustrating thing. Taking a vacation to Europe for us is months of preparing and saving so we can continue to have a little bit of security in our bank account. I look at some celebrities our media is constantly praising and cringe at how easy it is for them to, for lack of a better phrase, do whatever they want. Not saying some of them aren't talented and it isn't well deserved but for most of us hardworking, driven, ambitious people, it just seems unfair. I sound like a baby, I know but it's how I'm feeling at this particular moment. If only I could win the lottery or better yet be completely broke and happy and never feel like there is a void somewhere. Yes, that would be perfect.